Inner Practice: You Want The Feeling of To Be Picked to Feel Worthy

This is a sequel from the previous blog Inner Practice: You Do Not Want Love, Actually.

How do you heal and go from chasing validation to actually letting yourself be loved?

First, you grieve.

You grieve the self who thought she had to be desirable to be kept.

You grieve the little girl who believed she had to be perfect to be loved.

You grieve the teenage version of you who thought being picked was proof of her value.

And then you unlearn.

You stop turning love into a reward system.

You stop auditioning.

You stop trying to be the most, the smartest, the sexiest, the easiest, the least complicated, the most healed.

You stop treating relationships like a test you need to pass.

You stop making your personality a resume.

And you start doing the unthinkable.

You let yourself be ordinary.

You let yourself be seen.

You stop looking for someone to come and pick you and start choosing yourself.

You feel the heartbreak of how much energy you have spent contorting, performing, earning, chasing.

You let yourself be angry.

You let yourself be messy.

You let yourself mourn all the versions of you that were lovable but was never loved.

And you begin to ask the question, “What does love look like when it is not rooted in pain.”

You learn to sit still, to feel lonely and not make it mean anything about your worth.

You stop clinging to the people who confuse you.

Because now you see clearly that confusion is not connection.

You stop needing to be impressive.

You start being real.

And it will hurt because your nervous system does not know what to do with peace.

You will ache for the highs and lows of the chase, but you will keep choosing the quiet.

Because now you are no longer asking for love to rescue you from yourself.

And when someone walks away, you don’t chase. You let them.

Because their leaving does not mean you are unworthy. It means you are not their person.

And that doesn’t have to destroy you.

And here is what healing looks like.

 

It looks like being ok when no one texts back.

It looks like not attaching your worth to how wanted you feel.

It looks like letting someone love you on your average days, not just your best ones.

it looks like falling apart and not apologizing for it.

It looks like no longer chasing people who make you feel small just so you can prove that you are worthy of being seen.

Because here is the truth that changes everything. 

You were never meant to be picked.

You were supposed to be seen. 

You were supposed to be known.

You were supposed to be loved in your being, not in your performance.

And the second you accept this, you become powerful.

Because now you are not just waiting, just waiting to be chosen.

You are choosing.

You are choosing who gets your energy, who gets your softness, who gets to stay.

And most importantly, you finally choose you.

Not because someone else said you were worthy, but because now you know it.

 

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Basics of TCM, TCM(Traditional Chin Med), Inner Practice, Being HumanXiang Jun LimDr (TCM) Xiang Junacupuncture, healing, tcm, inner practice, meditation, love, worthy